Copyright Notice

All images and writings, unless otherwise specified, are creations and property of A.P.A. Please DO NOT use writings or photos from this website without giving me credit.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I Remember: Middle School (7th Grade)

I remember middle school. Seventh grade to be exact. I was in that awkward transition from girl to preteen and trying my hardest to be "cool" - what "cool" meant at that time is a foggy memory, though. I wanted shaved legs (the memory of the previous summer in Colombia and the ambush to see my hairy legs still a vivid hue of humiliation), I wanted make up. I wanted a boyfriend.

Of course, my father wouldn't hear of it. Me estaba madurando biche, or growing up ahead of my time. Like a fruit, I wasn't ripe enough, and yet that's what I wanted to be: ripe. After the short taste of freedom in Colombia, where I spent three months with aunts and uncles, away from my father's gaze, and after I realized that women, in order to receive men's attention (or, in my case, for girls to receive boys' attention), needed smooth legs, painted lips, I sought that in my small, Westchester house. When I pleaded to shave my legs, and my father responded with a short "no," I proceeded to sneak my mother's razor into my bathroom and, with lukewarm water and some soap, I shaved my legs. That was my first act of rebellion, and it came with some sharp, stinging cuts. I don't remember my punishment, but perhaps my mother interceded for me and I was allowed to continue shaving my legs. For me, it was a blessing; I was cursed with pale skin and dark hair, something that didn't quite cry feminine for me.

When I started middle school, it was the first year that six graders would be moved to middle school, and I was in seventh grade, so I never got to be in the bottom of the hierarchy. Other seventh grade girls were showing their legs, in rolled-up or cuffed shorts, or skirts. They wore their big hair, bangs stiff with hairspray and teasing. And they wore makeup. I wanted to be like them, but when I asked permission for at least a little blush and lipstick, I was told, again, absolutely not. So I snuck it.

I took a small, private bus to school then. Camacho's Bus Service, with Camacho being our driver. I would sit by the window and, when we were a safe distance away from my house, I would bring out the compact and lipstick. I didn't choose anything loud. A simple mauve was my favorite shade. When I was on my way home, I'd quickly scrub the makeup off with some wet napkins and my parents never found out.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Finding My Center of Balance

The new year is here, and with it, I've joined the gaming community. Well, "joined" is a strong word since I don't actually do any online gaming nor am I playing hard core video games. Or maybe that's just what's inferred when one says "gaming community." We simply purchased our first video game system: the Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit Plus. Our goal? Family fun games (with a three-year-old) that would also allow us to get healthy. That's one of our resolutions/goals for this year: get healthy.

It's been fun, actually, though already I see the beginnings of possible addictions. The first thing my son says in the morning and when we get home from school is: "Mommy, I want to play our game." That scares me. So, we're building it into our schedule. Just like we have nap time, play time, dinner time, etc., we'll have game time.

I do like this game, though. The game console came with two games, Sports and Resort Sports (or is it Sports Resort.... I don't remember), and the Wii Fit Plus came so many exercise possibilities that I haven't missed a beat in the past seven days. I've moved my body more in these seven days than I have in the last few months - that's got to be a great thing!

One of the things I like about the Wii Fit is the ability to track my own coordination and balance, in addition to weight, BMI and time spent "working out." (It also has yoga and strength training poses that are great for beginners like me.) Every morning, I wake up and, while getting breakfast ready, I lay out the yoga mat and balance board. Every morning I turn on the console and select my little avatar. And every morning, I step on that board and do my weigh-in. After my balance (which is always slightly to the left or right, but never centered) BMI and weight are displayed (and after my Mii avatar gets socked with a sudden gut, belly rubbing and all), I am then guided towards the body tests, which supposedly test my balance and agility. Then, like in the Biggest Loser, I am given my approximate age based on how I perform on those tests. Well, the first time I took those tests, without knowing what the heck I was doing,  my "age" came back at 48 - I'm 31! Yea, that was fun. But, once I figured out what was expected, and once I warmed up, I was better. I've been able to lower my "age" to 27. Not bad. :)

Of course, what I find the most ironic is that my "center of balance" is off, literally. This I knew. I'm clumsy. I trip over my own feet. I've fallen down the stairs in my house, twice. I'm constantly finding bruises on my arms and legs because, well, I'm constantly hitting myself with things and bumping into tables, and chairs, and walls. So, when I stepped on that balance board, and the little machine came back and said I was off-balance and asked if I bumped myself or tripped often, I laughed. Out loud.

It's not just my literal balance that's off. I seem to be slightly off balance, period. I'm constantly trying to find that balance between family, career, and creativity. It's hard. Freaking hard. And I'm still bumping myself along the way, finding new bruises just when I though I'd balance myself out.

The good news is that after day 7 of this Wii Fit thing, I'm almost dead center. The yoga poses and fun "exercises" and games have kept me going, and I've been losing weigh and feeling more flexible - hey, I can actually touch my toes now! In this new year, I find I'm also closer to finding that other balance. I'm trying to plan ahead, to keep myself on track, to sketch out times and assign priorities, so I can do it all. I CAN do it all.... I hope.